someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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