I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
