At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
