You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
