He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
