We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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