their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize