I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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