Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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