I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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