explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
