i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
