well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
