i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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