He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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