you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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