found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
