What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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