I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
