What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
