i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
