pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize