But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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