"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I would fuck him just for his dog
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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