I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
