I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
