Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
