It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
