Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
