im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
