You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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