hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize