her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Randomize
