**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Define "chronic" masturbator.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Randomize
