My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
