If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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