I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
