is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
