Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
50% drunk capacity currently
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
