Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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