I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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