For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
