i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
