Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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