apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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