Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
not ubering you a puppy
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
