Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
