I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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