Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
