My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
