so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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