im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
