We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize