8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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