There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
time to smoke my breakfast
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
