do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
