My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
