You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
