she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
