but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
