you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
