I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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