Don't make out with my wife yet
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
