I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
