I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize