I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
