Where did you get a picture of my penis
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
