Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
