Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
