all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
