Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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