I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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