I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
