I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
