I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
