you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
