found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
