I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
No subtext here. People are naked.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
