LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
