Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
