Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
